Visiting a cafe in Huntriss Row we held our noses at the stench of ammonia and bird droppings.
We shouted at each other above the continual screeching of, I believe, kittiwakes, a protected species.
Not one I would protect that’s for sure along with so called herring gulls.
Opposite the Town Hall the same stench and noise was more than apparent, do council workers wear face masks I wonder. Or do the council offices have superior noise and smell reduction glass in their windows.
So it looks like it’s me against the gulls, five times in the last fortnight have I either taken the car through a car wash or slaved over a hot car body in order to cleanse seagull off of it.
And by the way this is not a few droplets of bird lime this is a whole Andy Warhol or David Hockney style impressionist painting.
Banksy eat your heart out dear boy, you have no chance against these ariel flying rats.
I am coming to the conclusion that gulls fly in bombing formation, and their aim is a damned sight more accurate than World War Two Lancasters, they had a plus or minus five mile hit strike. Gulls are spot on.
We bought this house in 1990 there were no gulls nesting anywhere near these streets so for people to say they were here first is nonsense, on the cliffs yes but not in the town, certainly not here.
The citizens of this borough pay substantial amounts of their earnings in council tax and the only idea of substance from the ‘think tank’ is heavy duty polythene bags.
On Filey seafront on a hot summer day we relaxed by the RNLI building quenching our thirst with a cold drink, an idyllic setting one would think. Not for the 11 year old who had her just purchased plastic cup of prawns swiped from off of the table as she sat down. Prawns are fair game to a gull but come on, a plastic container as well, the child was terrified by this attack, I can only call it that.
I have my own idea on how to deal with gulls and it would be one of mass culling or the removal of all eggs.
The anger shown by people of this borough is shown in the amount of young gulls squashed on the roads, run down by frustrated drivers/house owners.
If I ventured to Scarborough for a few days break, and I took as stroll through the town centre I would think twice about returning.
And that was said to us as we sat inside Emma’s enjoying our once a week coffee treat.
I am thinking of billing the council for the £30 cost of taking the car through a car wash.