Bring on closing time

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SO IT’S official ... The Royal College of Psychiatrists has recommended people 65 and over should only drink the equivalent of half a pint of beer a day.

What’s the point in continuing this earthly toil, I have to ask myself, without my usual intake of the brown stuff?

The only thing I can get up these days is my right arm, and they wonder why people of a dubious character and a distinct liking for the mother’s ruination, such as yours truly, are in favour of some kind of voluntary euthanasia. Roll on closing time, I’ve heard he does ‘lock-ins’ up there.

TW Ward