‘Exit Tablets’ for the over 70s?

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IN VIEW of world population explosions, world food shortages and other planet threatening scenarios, I think I may have the answer to the problem, name, “The Seventy Year Exit Tablet.”

Three score years and the they say is the normal life span of a human being, who in their right mind would want to live any longer? Something needs to be done and quickly.

I believe the Government should take the lead by bringing in a compulsory ‘exit tablet’ to be taken on reaching the age of seventy.

The benefits of such a move would I believe be incalculable, no more hospital bed shortages, no more care homes, no need for bus passes, no more expensive prescriptions, the NHS would become solvent overnight.

More property would become available for young people, and cats and beneficiaries of wills would get their money a lot quicker. Saga would be defunked, as too would free Parker pens courtesy of Michael Parkinson.

I myself would have five years left and I would make sure I’d enjoy them to the full, no growing old gracefully for me.

I certainly don’t want to end up a cabbage, having to rely on others to feed me and change my soiled nappies, my dignity as well as that of others is important, so while I am compus mentus, I am proposing this radical and life changing proposal.

Just imagine having a great big “eve of going” bash, with all the family and friends there, wishing you bon voyage, then it would be off to bed to pop the pill, and bobs yer uncle, job done.

Quick, efficient, painless, and what’s more, plant friendly.

TW Ward