Blaise Tapp: Wedding first dance is the most entertaining part

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When Coldplay’s Chris Martin serenaded a couple with their wedding song of choice during a visit to a Somerset pub recently, I was transported back 17 years to my own big day.

Blaise Tapp writes: Anybody who has been spliced will know how important that first dance is. The moment that the newly weds shuffle onto the dance floor is the most entertaining part of the day.

If I’m being brutally honest, with a few notable exceptions, most weddings I’ve been to have dragged on more than they ought to – I, along with everybody else present, once had to endure an hour of speeches and I’ve never fully lost the nervous twitch I developed that particular day

Before I got hitched I hadn’t fully grasped the significance of dancing in front of your loved ones for the first time as Mr and Mrs, until I was fully briefed about its importance by the love of my life, who these days is better known as Mrs Tapp. Or The Boss.

IMPRONTU act:  Chris Martin sang for engaged couple. Photo: Getty ImagesIMPRONTU act:  Chris Martin sang for engaged couple. Photo: Getty Images
IMPRONTU act: Chris Martin sang for engaged couple. Photo: Getty Images

Although an enthusiastic mover, I’m to contemporary dance what Bernard Manning was to promoting diversity, as not only do I have two left feet but I also have the rhythm of an arthritic penguin.

Back in 2005, my betrothed knew what she was letting herself in for so wisely suggested that we take dancing lessons in preparation for our four minutes under the spotlight.

While I cannot remember exactly how much we paid the very kind and patient lady who valiantly tried to whip me into some sort of shape, it wasn’t cheap. I’d like to say it was money well spent but I am obliged not to tell the reader whoppers.

For eight weeks, we’d visit this poor woman in a soulless church hall every Wednesday but when it came to the moment the DJ played The Look of Love on the day itself, I’d forgotten absolutely everything and just made up my own routine there and then. I’m not sure anybody else has ever interpreted the works of Dusty Springfield quite like I did on that sweltering June night, but it gave everybody there a laugh and prompted one onlooker to comment that it was ‘like Robocop dancing’.

My inability to learn a dozen simple steps to a rudimentary rhumba have become the stuff of family folklore and because we have video footage of it, it’s a moment we’re unlikely to ever forget.

I very much doubt that the couple who Chris Martin sang a Sky Full of Stars to will forget their special moment either as it’s not every day that you are treated to a live, intimate performance of your special song from the actual performer, even if it is a Coldplay song. But Chris has gone up in almost everybody’s estimation, mine included, for his generosity when all he needed to do while he enjoyed a quick pint was to oblige a few selfie hunters.

What he’s also done is reignite the debate about the perfect tune to dance to on your wedding day – we’d originally chosen the timeless God Only Knows by The Beach Boys, until our beleaguered tutor warned that I’d definitely cock that one up. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Ed Sheeran features highly in the list of most popular wedding dance choices, while Elvis’ Can’t Help Falling In Love is still in there.

After two summers of Covid chaos, it seems that half the population is taking the opportunity to get married this year which means that in living rooms across the country, there will be couples practising those all important steps. Let’s hope they do better than I did.