Life on Tapp: Are we really ready for yet another right royal knees up?

The British are world beaters when it comes to pomp and ceremony.

The countdown to the biggest event of the year is well under way and it’s likely that we will hear of nothing else in the coming weeks – I’m of course talking about the coronation rather than Eurovision.

Blaise Tapp writes: The supermarkets have started displaying everything anybody could need for a (yet another) street party including, and I’m not kidding, special edition chicken sausages, mayonnaise, chicken crisps, lamb and mint crisps, a giant cookie and more booze than you can shake a bejewelled staff at. I’m not sure whether King Charles or Queen Camilla for that matter are fans of chocolate traybakes but that’s what many will be tucking into during the extra bank holiday weekend next month.

Memorabilia such as tins, tea towels, mugs, plates and even teddy bears have been filling shelves, warehouses and lock ups for months and it’s likely that many of us will shell out for a keepsake of the first coronation that the vast majority of us will have lived through.

Media coverage of the May 6 ceremony has been ramping up for months but if you’re sick of it already, then I’d suggest that you look to find a cave or anywhere that doesn’t have television or broadband to stay in because you ain’t seen nothing yet. Last year’s Platinum Jubilee festivities are likely to be put in the shade by celebrations that will include 6,000 armed forces personnel marching through London, a series of flypasts and large crowds gathering in front of nearly 60 big screens across the country.

As someone who loves watching history unfold, I’m not half as excited about the imminent proceedings at Westminster Abbey as I should be. I don’t know whether Paddington Bear and his marmalade sandwiches or the Queen’s death and subsequent funeral mean that I have had my fill of royal events for the next decade but I haven’t even bought so much as a paper plate with a Union Flag on it yet.

There will be a vocal minority who will fulfil their right to free speech by telling us that the millions of pounds of taxpayers’ money would be better spent on giving teachers and nurses a pay rise than paying for a very wealthy 74 year man and his wife to be bestowed with even more privilege. I won’t join those dissenting voices because if you have a monarchy then you have to expect that there will be lavish events every now and again.

Despite the seemingly never ending nonsense surrounding the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, the Royal family does appear to remain popular among the public and as long as there is approval from the masses then there will be a monarchy. No amount of angry protests or social media posts from the usual suspects will change that.

The British are world beaters when it comes to pomp and ceremony and the coronation promises to be a spectacle which will be long remembered by the billions around the world who tune in to watch it.

I fully expect that our seven year old will fully engage with the proceedings next month, especially if the aforementioned special edition grub is on offer, and if the ceremony is mentioned on TikTok then I’m sure our teenager will give it some attention. Last year we hosted a family barbecue to mark the Queen’s 70 year reign but it’s unlikely that I will be preparing batches of cucumber butties and jugs of Pimms in a fortnight’s time.

The apathy that I’m feeling right now could well be replaced with wild enthusiasm over the coming days and weeks but it’s unlikely that I will be doing the conga through the streets with the neighbours once our King and Queen are crowned.

I might tuck into some chocolate crowns and sup some specially brewed ale though.